Die This Way
by Writer.Anon46
Summary: I lost my humanity when I was pregnant.  Alternate Universe with Serial Killer Quinn


**Pairing:** Quinn Fabray / Rachel Berry

**Genre:** Dark angst.

**Rating:** G

**Disclaimer:** Nothing is mine, I'm just borrowing for a bit of fun. The title is taken from Jon Licht's piece which was also the inspiration for this fic.

**Author's Note:** I watched the video where Quinn is a serial killer and is based on the opening credits of Dexter. And this is the end result. I hope you enjoy. It's kind of weird.

**Summary****:** I lost my humanity when I was pregnant. **[Quinn's POV]**

**Die This Way.**

I'm not human.

I'm a monster.

I lost my humanity when I was pregnant. I could feel it leaving my body as Be – _the fetus _needed oxygen; needed blood – needed life.I would wake up every day and look in the mirror, my eyes drained of life a little each day. The soulless, hazel eyes that stared back would drill holes in the mirror, creating an almost feral smirk to grace my lips. Even then, I knew that something was changing within me.

And now I am standing here with no guilt or regret whatsoever. I stand here, before her, my entire self being the definition of a monster.

Children get scared of the monsters that live underneath their beds, waiting to pounce when the lights go off. Teenagers are scared of the monsters that come in form of drugs or alchohol or sex; they wait to attack when they are at their most vulnerable. Adults get scared of the monsters that live in their heads; the ones that tear hearts to shreds with their claws and jaws. But I find that the same look of fear flashes in everyone's eyes and it makes me smile.

She's saying something and I have to resist the urge to roll my eyes because I can tell she's getting excited about something and I'm pretty sure I won't be at all interested. Her eyes have a spark as her hands accompany her wild train of thought. I have to push down the monster that lives within me and try to be human for a few seconds.

"... and so I have it figured out," the brunette stated, her eyes looking expectantly at me and I'm at a loss of what to say. So I just wait, she's sure to notice sooner or later. "Quinn!" she sighs exasperatedly and I let out a chuckle at how well she knows me.

"I'm sorry Rach, I must have zoned out."

"Yeah well, this is important!" she tells me as she crosses her arms in front of her chest and pouts like a spoilt child.

"Well then maybe," I start, a hint of seduction rolling off my tongue, "you might want to repeat?" I ask as I look at her from underneath my eyelashes and feel a bit of satisfaction as she sighs defeated and lowers her arms.

"Only because this is important and I don't want anything to happen to you, okay?" she asks in a small whisper and my heart skips a bit because I don't think I've ever heard her take that tone with me. Even if I am monster, it doesn't mean that I do not get worried about her. I'm supposed to be in love with her – I _am_ in love with her – so I guess that's why my heart does these funny things. Huh, who would have thought.

"Go on," I whisper back, keeping the same fragile atmosphere around us; I am intrigued.

"I said with all these murders that have been happening at McKinley, my sixth sense has come in handy as I have a few suspicions about it all."

Okay, my heart definitely skipped a beat – it might have even stopped beating for a second. (If I'm a monster, do I really need a heart?) She can't possibly know, can she? It's too soon for everything to come to an end, I haven't done everything that I wanted. Oh God, what I'm I going to do? What –

"A few of them have come to dead ends but I think I have found out what has been happening and I know for a fact that you come into the equation too."

I force myself to swallow and wince a bit at how scratchy my throat feels. I close my eyes and take a moment before opening them and clashing with her set of chocolate ones.

"Rach..."

"No you have to listen to me and please don't say anything until I'm done, okay?"

I can only manage a nod as my mind whirls into motion, thinking of escape scenarios.

"Quinn, all three girls that have been killed the last month have all been running for Prom Queen! Someone is after all the potential Prom Queens and I'm pretty sure you're on their list too!"

I stop breathing for a second as I simply stare at the short brunette that is standing right in front of me, her eyes welling up with tears as I can only imagine she's thinking of me lying in a pool of blood; just like the other girls. That, in itself, requires me to think about it and get lost in their pale bodies and empty eyes and I have to stop myself from remembering how good it felt to suck the life out of them too. I snap back to reality when I hear a sniffle coming from her.

"I don't know what I'd do if they got you too, Quinn."

"They won't Rach, I promise."

"How can you be so sure? They're clearly a sick bastard who has Prom issues and wants to get rid of every single girl! And what if they move on to the potential Prom Kings? Oh God, Finn and Sam could be in danger too! We have to tell someone about my thoughts – oh! What if it's Coach Sylvester? I wouldn't put it past her, oh God I have to talk to Mr. Shue!"

"Rachel, just wait – "

The brunette stopped mid step and turned on her heel, facing me once again.

"You're right Quinn, what if it's Mr. Shuester? We can't trust anyone."

I don't know why but her last choice of lexis makes me want to laugh. So I give into the temptation and allow the laugh that tickled my throat to escape my lips and evaporate into the atmosphere. I close my eyes as my laughter fills up the choir room and I clutch my stomach as I realize that I'm laughing like a maniac. Had I chanced a look at the brunette, I would have noticed the confused –and slightly afraid – expression that settled on her face.

"Q – Quinn? Are you okay? Why are you laughing? Quinn Fabray do not tell me that you are mocking my scenario!"

The laughter slowly died on my lips and I'm sort of glad that I have the ability to switch emotions on and off so quickly.

"You're right Rachel," I begin and I can almost feel how my eyes have begun to darken, "we can't trust anyone. _You_ can't trust anyone."

"What are you talking about?"

I begin to close the distance between us and I reach out to touch her upper arms, an eyebrow shooting up as I see her taking a couple of steps back. That is a new development; she never shied away from me before. I stop dead in my tracks as I realize her sixth sense must be real; because she senses the darkness in me.

Oh God, she knows that I'm bad for her. She knows that I hold a dark secret that keeps me in chains. She knows I'm a monster.

She knows what I am.

The thought sobers me immediately and I stop dead in my tracks as a realization dawns on me. I don't have to be this monster all the time – when I'm with Rachel, I feel like there is hope for me. I realize that I enjoy her company and her sweet kisses. I realize that, sometimes, I live for her arms to be wrapped around me. I realize that, sometimes, her soft singing in my ear makes everything okay for a while.

And in those few, precious moments, I feel like a human being again.

Like she's my hero that chases away the monsters in my head. She chases away the monster in my heart and for a few seconds, I catch a glimpse of the girl that I used to be.

I remember how I lay awake at night and long for that blonde girl to come back.

Maybe...

"Rachel," I start, "I know the truth about the murders." I gulp as her eyes flash with surprise.

"What? Why didn't you say anything?"

"Listen," I tell her and make a conscious move to hold her hands in mine and sigh with relief when she doesn't shy away from me, "can you promise me that you'll wait until I'm done and that you won't rush to any conclusions?"

"Quinn, wh – "

"Promise me Rach, please."

"I promise Quinn. I'll promise you anything baby just please tell me, you're scaring me."

And those three words are what push me over the edge.

"I'm the serial killer Rachel."

Silence falls upon as like a suffocating blanket and I am highly aware of the ticking of the clock that's hanging off the wall. I'm aware of how we're the only two people in the choir room at such a late hour and our breathing sounds like drums in my ears.

But my eyes never stray from hers and I hold her gaze as her chocolate pools whirl a storm of different emotions. Yet her hands remain tightly in my own and she makes no movement to try and take them away from me.

After what seems hours – and many loud poundings of my heart – her mouth opens.

"Is this a joke to you?" she nearly spits in my face, her face contorting with anger.

"What? No, I – "

"Because this isn't funny Quinn, I can reassure you."

"Shut up!" I hear the words pound in my ear and it's a second before I realize that it was me who screamed them. I hold her eyes once again as I will myself to count up to ten, knowing that I would have to get a grip on myself – I'd never forgive myself if I slipped and caused her pain. She's my life. I switch from heavy panting from my mouth to deep breaths from my nose and I close my mouth, effectively hiding my teeth from her view.

"I'm sorry," I tell her, "but I'm telling the truth."

She says nothing and I soldier on.

"I'm responsible for the murders; I killed them. I'm the monster."

Neither of us moves as the words settle on our shoulders like an old friend. I can see her lips being pursued in a tight line and for the first time in our relationship, I don't know what she's thinking. And it's killing me. I clench my jaw to restrain myself for saying something else. I know what I have done and I know the risk that I'm taking. But somewhere in between the words that I have just voiced, I'm pretty sure the girl that I used to be was swimming in them. If only Rachel could see that.

"Have you ever..." she trails off, her voice shaking as her eyes stare into my own hazel pools. She clears her throat and begins again; I can only watch with anticipation. "Have you ever wanted to... you know... me?"

I jump at what she's suggesting and my eyebrows fly into my hairline and I can't believe what she's asking. Although, to be honest, I can understand why.

"No," I reply immediately, "never. I love you."

She nods her head as she casts her eyes on the floor for a split second before meeting mine once again. This time, there is only one emotion that is swimming in them and that's unwavering love. She lifts her arms and wraps them around mine, her head tucked underneath my chin.

"We'll figure something out."

With that promise, I can't help but feel safe.

Because, sometimes, even monsters need a safe haven; somewhere where they can rest at night and be sure that they won't be chased after.

I might have left my humanity at the hospital a couple of years ago but I'm pretty sure that the girl in my arms right now, will go back and pick up the pieces and bring them back to me. She's going to stay with me until I'm put back together.

Maybe I won't be a monster anymore.

Maybe she's my saviour.


End file.
